"Our babies' names."


Often people comment on my babies’ names, because they are so pretty or unusual and ask, “Where did they come from?”  Usually they get the Readers Digest version of only my ‘live’ children. But a lot is involved in their names and they hold great significance for me, and so I honour all my children by sharing these origins with you.

My eldest child, a girl, is named Tiani. I remember being at the hairdressers around a month or two before her due date and her name ‘came’ to me. (This is true for all my children, I know their names before birth and they seem to fit perfectly.) 
With Tiani, my husband and I had an agreement; if it was a girl, I named her and a boy he chose. After hearing my husband’s choices I prayed for a girl. Before the day in the hairdressers, I had a few options on my list, but none seemed quite right. I wanted a name to reflect how precious she was to me and to remind her always that she is loved. “Tiani” is an adaptation of the Italian, Ti amo. It means literally “I love you!”

Our second child, Amore, was born an angel. 
(The Women’s and Children’s Hospital staff were very supportive, though had I known then what I know now, I would have preserved more memories etc.)
I felt blest to have seen her and held her briefly, but obviously bewildered as to what had happened. Again, I wanted her name to reflect the significance of her life, and so “Amore”, 
Italian for “Love” was chosen. 






Our third child Cara, we also lost.
(This sad event happened suddenly at home, and if you could witness the ‘products of conception’ there would be no confusing it with a ‘heavy’ period.)
This loss rocked me to the core as it happened within 3 months of Amore. I therefore concluded that it must be something to do with me, and the subsequent guilt and anxiety was almost too hard to bear. “Cara” is the Italian word of endearment we use to start correspondence with those we love deeply and hold close to our hearts; “Dear.” 

Our fourth child, Mikari was born on New Years Eve. (A permanent reminder to celebrate another beautiful girl.) Despite what most would imagine was a pretty difficult pregnancy, emotionally; I had a peace and serenity that endured; my pain, my fears and the nine months. It was a true blessing that reminded me of God’s sublime Grace. “Mikari” is a derivative of the Gospel Greek word, Makarious, used by Matthew in his recounting of ‘The Sermon on the Mount’ meaning “Blessed”. 
  








Our fifth child, Teressa is another angel born into heaven.
Her loss reminded me of all my accumulated grief surrounding ‘missing’ babies. 
(I was very ill after Tiani was born and we moved interstate when Mikari was 3 months old. I had missed a great deal of their infancy too and was grieving this also.) Tiani too had witnessed all my grief and was mourning another sibling. She had a strong desire to name her. As it was in the year of the beatification of Mother Teresa; so “Teressa” was named after the Nobel Peace Laureate, who said of children, “ Each child is created in the image and likeness of God for greater things – To love and be loved.”







Our sixth child, Pieta, was born into eternal life via
 induced delivery, after she died in the womb. 
 I cannot describe the pain following such an 
emotional detachment to endure the 14 hours of labour.

I truly believe suffering isn’t always optional. What makes sense of suffering is to create meaning of it and offer it as a gift for others who suffer too. I also believe that the healing balm of suffering is love and forgiveness. 

When I think of those two words together it reminds me of a gift I received recently at a weekend retreat. The question was put, “What is love?” and the answers forthcoming included; “…compassion, understanding, acceptance, listening, sharing, caring …” etc.  All very good responses; but these words have no meaning unless they are active, because love is a verb not a noun. 

So here is the gift; Love is all those things described above, but most of all is for giving. 
 
Forgiving.






Photo: Stanislav Traykov







I have another word that for me sums up this sentiment: Mercy. 

As with the other children, Pieta’s name was in my mind well before I knew she had died. When this tragedy happened, somehow in a bittersweet way it all made sense. “Pieta” in Italian means “Mercy”. 

It is also the name given to the awesome sculpture by Michelangelo of the crucified Jesus cradled in the arms of the Virgin Mary.   And known in the Roman Catholic faith as the image of  “Our Lady of Sorrows”.


When I was searching for mementoes and relevant items that to me would epitomize my daughter, Pieta, I discovered that the meaning of “Pieta” is also from the Greek word for “Compassion”. 







All these meanings, images, and the thoughts they create are a source of great comfort in my sorrow. 


I am proud and in awe of all of my children. They are an immeasurable gift and blessing to me. Divinely created and the epitome of love in action, a beautiful thing to behold.


I am immensely grateful to be made aware of the spiritual significance of beauty through them. 





Beauty and the Divine are synonymous.


 I am especially proud that their names reflect this awareness and it will be something that I have now decided to tell them of everyday. 








I guess it is best left said to Michelangelo, who thought beauty was one of the ways God communicated Himself to humanity, and wonderfully described in his poetry.  

“My eyes longing for beautiful things together with my soul longing for salvation have no other power to ascend to heaven than the contemplation of beautiful things.” 



Maria.
@ September 2005.



Post Script. 


In December 2005 we welcomed our beautiful baby boy Jesse into our family. 







Born during Advent Jesse is named after The Jesse Tree - the tree of geneaology of Jesus.  It is a symbol of promise; of hope from despair. 


In Hewbrew Jesse means 'Gift' and 'God exists'. 






To me all our children are a reminder of our Created Love :
a symbol of hope - 
an eternal, unconditional, 
everlasting gift. 

















If there ever comes a day when we can't be together, 
keep me in your heart. 

I'll stay there forever. 


- Winnie the Pooh




 


"How Does One Become 
a Butterfly?" 


"How does one become a butterfly?" she asked pensively
"You must want to fly so much
that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar"
"You mean to die?" asked Yellow...
"Yes and no," he answered
"What looks like you will die,
but what's really you will live" 

~by Trina Paulus, From Hope for the Flowers